"I am not..."

In the recent words of my dear sister, "I am not pregnant!"

Someone is spreading the word that I'm pregnant, but I am most definitely not. I repeat: not pregnant.

Even if you want me to be pregnant, I'm not.

And if you don't want me to be pregnant, I'm sure you're happy about this.

I know I am! (Happy; not pregnant. Just in case you thought I was saying I'm pregnant. Because I'm not.)