Samaritan Half-Bloods

Today in Sunday School the lesson discussed the Good Samaritan parable. Then someone compared Jews and Samaritans to pure bloods and half-bloods.

Because people would better understand that reference and reasoning than they would the of-the-time context in which the Good Samaritan parable was a slap in the face to the Jewish people.

I thought it. Then someone else--a 60-something man, by the way--said it out loud. Almost like I used the Imperious Curse...

Do you think J.K. Rowling would be amazed to find that Harry Potter was the son of a Samaritan?

Sim...plify?

My friend Mindy has a blog about simplifying your life, among other things. She posted last week about her purse and I still can't believe this is all she has in it. What?!

Well tonight I dug through the piles of crap in our garage and finally located the bin my purses were hiding in. Yeah, baby! I am so excited. I was getting completely sick of the huge pink thing I've been lugging around. I have been scouring boxes, bins, and couch cushions for my purses since we got to California and guess where I found them? In the absolute middle of the boxes/bins/furniture bits piled up in the garage. I should have looked there first, because this is very typical behavior from my many lost items. Little jerks.

And so I dedicate this post to Mindy, so she can see exactly what I carry with me at all times. I live by the better-safe-than-sorry mindset. Specific to my purse, this mindset may or may not have developed as a result of Michelle Pfeiffer's character in One Fine Day. She dressed the kids up for Halloween Day at school with only the items in her purse! Most incredible. This is my life's goal.

It's not. But I truly do get upset when I'm not prepared for anything and everything. Behold, the pink purse I'm tired of:

And it's contents:

I've gotta be honest here. There are usually 3 diapers in my bag, not the two pictured here, plus a water bottle for me and two sippy cups for the girls. Yes, that is a pile of trash in the bottom right corner--that is not typical; it all got shoved in my purse when I picked Sky up from nursery today.

We've got diapers, wipes, a nursing cover, reusable grocery bags (2) and reusable produce bags (3), a pile of snacks, womanly supplies, wallet, keys, phone, sunglasses for me, sunglasses for Sky, sunblock (kids and adult), lip balm, multiple lip glosses, tissues, sanitary wipes, sanitary gel, lotion (2), ballpoint pen, gum and misc. other items. I usually have multiple small toys and sometimes my huge camera.

Don't worry. I only carry the port-a-potty and blow-up mattresses when I know we'll be gone for 3+ hours.

I switched to this lovely teal purse, minus the trash pile, some snacks, most of the sanitary wipes (I honestly have no idea how 10 of them ended up in the purse to begin with), comb, nursing cover, some of the lipglosses, a lotion and a baby bracelet.

These pictures are terrible, and I'm not wearing my contacts so they are totally out of focus. I feel fine about it. You feel fine about it, too, because you mostly wanted to see the pile of crap and the general look of the bags.

Done. Changed. Semi-simplified. Mostly prepared...though not for a zombie apocalypse.

Anyone know where I can get a good telescoping poleax?

9 Months Old!

Yay, Harper is 9 months old! She's three quarters of a year! Holy crap. She's three quarters of a year.

Sometimes she looks like this:

And she's this much bigger than her seahorse:

These are some tricky things she can do:

She is starting to army crawl and stand next to things. Rolling {with the homies} continues to be her best skill, if you don't count angry raspberries. I do. She hides under her blankie. Peekaboo! She can sign "more" and "all done," though not always on cue.

Last week...she could roll and blow raspberries. My, what swiftly adopted skillz! Maybe she felt more was expected of a 9-month-old?

I think she's fabulous. All I expect is for her to be really, really, ridiculously good looking. And she's doing it!

Yay, Harper! Way to be awesome! I really love my kids. You can play with them, but no keepies.

It Was Funny!

Regarding my last post:

Mike tells me it came off as heated. It was supposed to be funny. I just read it and it sounds heated.

Go back and read it in a funny way! (Well, an annoyed funny way. I still think the photo shoots are annoying, but I'm not going to ring someone's neck over them. Sorry!)

Shoot This

I'm bothered by a new trend among teenagers these days.

Photo shoots.

Don't mistake "photo shoots" for "photos." Doesn't every good parent snap a photo of her kid to commemorate milestone happenings? A photo is normal. A photo is acceptable and even expected, encouraged, etc. Behold:

Veeeeery sexy of us!

When did photo shoots become the thing?

Let me define photo shoot, as you should understand it for the following rant: a large series of photos, often taken by a professional photographer, in which the photographed pose in multiple outfits and in multiple surroundings; a series of photographs in which the photographed stare off into the distance of a sunset, rainbow or collection of crashing waves, rolling grasses, and/or butterfly fields.

I'm not talking graduation photo shoots, or birthday photo shoots. Please, record these things!

I mean prom photo shoots. Homecoming photo shoots. And worst of all: straight up boyfriend/girlfriend photo shoots.  In my opinion, a photo shoot involving a couple suggests a serious relationship (ie: engagement photos), and I for one will not have my daughters doing photo shoots with their boyfriends until the ring is on the finger and the intended in-laws are coming for Thanksgiving.

I can see you are bothered by that statement. I don't mean my kids won't have fun snapping photos with their boyfriends or having a buddy snap some shots. Mike and I had fun times making faces at the camera. Even doing the little kissy shots. But we certainly never hired the job out.

Wait, I have other issues with this. I just saw some pictures a friend posted of her daughter with her boyfriend. They were wearing the same outfit and walking along bridges, tall fence lines, etc. First, the matchy outfits piss me off--but I was raised to be pissed off by matching outfits. Even my twin brothers were forbidden to wear matching outfits. But I want to know how these photo shoots are being funded. Are their parents paying for these things? Are people not forgetting how short most high school relationships are?

Am I the only one who thinks it's weird that this woman paid to have photos taken of her 17-year-old daughter and said daughter's boyfriend? That she wanted to post artsy sunset-staring photos of them on Facebook?

If you have teenagers, think about the possible implications of a boyfriend/girlfriend photo shoot. A photo shoot you are either funding, supervising or manning is certainly saying, "I approve." I hope you at least know what you're approving of.

Go ahead and make a photo shoot out of everything. Pretend your teenage child is in a serious relationship, or... a magazine or whatever it is you think photo shoots are meant to say about you and your family. But don't come crying to me when your kid breaks up with her boyfriend and deletes those photos you paid for.

Remember those old family photos with your exes in them? The ones you don't really remember because you don't even know where they are?

Remember, at the family reunion, when your dad was like, "Everyone in the picture!" and your old boyfriend jumped into an otherwise family-only photo? Then you broke up a month later and the family had to permanently remove the photos from all frames/albums/blog posts so as not to offend future boyfriends/spouses? Or just because, why the hell was that guy in your family reunion photo to begin with??? And your Aunt Betty called your mom crying, saying, "It was the last photo we had with Grandma Jane and now it's RUINED!"

Ring on finger. That's the key. And even then you're probably taking a gamble, but at least you'll be able to say, "There was a ring on the finger!"

No More Sitting Around

And the crawling begins!

In less than two days, Harper has gone from sitting and rolling to standing and scooting.

Guess she's tired of sitting around!

(side note: I was looking forward to sitting around a while longer. Goodbye, precious lazy ways. It seems we got that free baby gate just in time.)

Today's Miracles

Myriah posted something about miracles on FB today, and suddenly three miracles happened at my house.

Today I learned Harper can stand. All I have to do is put her next to something and she'll just stand there, holding on for dear life.

Also, she surprised me by signing "more" when I asked if she was all done eating her carrots.

Today I learned I can still do at least 30 crunches.

Yes. It has been a day of miracles.

3 Years Old!!!!!

My little Sky babe is 3 years old today!

Seems like just yesterday I was walking around with a torpedo belly. And Sky was doing the Costanza and getting teeth and learning to walk. And making pirate faces! Tying up The Lorax...ah, memories.

Just yesterday she turned one, then two, and now she's three. Look at this pretty big 3-year-old girl!

She has had a fun birthday. The day started with Sky running into our room yelling, "Mommy, I'm THREE! I had a nap, and I woke up and I'm THREE!" Mikey worked at home today to spend some extra time with Sky. 

Daddy made a fabulous pancake breakfast. Sky got a special bunny pancake. At first, she refused to eat the pancake.

"But you don't cut bunnies! You don't cut people and bunnies!"

We told her it's not a bunny, it's just a pancake that looks like a bunny face.

"You don't eat faces!"

We did not expect this turn of events. Clearly. After 10, maybe 15 minutes of us trying to reason with her, she ate the bunny pancake. She started with the eyes and nose, then ate the ears. I took this after the first ear was munched.

After breakfast we went to Leisa's, where Leisa put some super cute feathers in Sky's hair! Birthday Feathers!

Then I took more pictures:

Oh, and Harper jumped in. :)

We went to the chocolate shop and Sky got to pick out some birthday candy. She chose: suckers. Suckers. Mike and I chose chocolates, because somebody had to. It was a chocolate shop.

Grammy, Grandpa, Nick and Josh came over to with Sky a Happy Birthday and to give her some awesome presents. She got her first Barbie dolls! One with a purple dress (per Sky's request), a Belle Barbie and a Cinderella Barbie. They also gave her an awesome portable Barbie castle! She is in love. Her final request tonight was to play with the Barbies and Barbie castle "just for a little minute" before she went to bed.

We are having a little family party for Sky this Saturday, so tonight she just got her own tiny Luxor cake. It is mostly chocolate mousse in a hard chocolate shell and she was SO excited to eat it. Aww, a mini Kylie!

Mommy and Daddy got Sky some play food and a basketball & basketball hoop! Unfortunately, the basketball hoop is "wonky" and needs to be fixed so the hoop doesn't slump down. She hated it. The good news is she will now play with it, despite it's wonky ways. She's really not a big fan of wonk, but she can be reasoned with. She is 3, after all.

A scooter, feathers, Barbies, basketball, play food, suckers, cake, phone calls from family. Such a lucky kid.

I can hardly believe my baby is now three years old. She's such a big girl! I can't put into words how much I love this kid. I am so proud to have Sky as my daughter and so excited to see what this next year brings! Love you, Sky Baby! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Well, Hello!

I love these girls!

{end of posting spree}

Scooters and Helmet Head

I know I've already posted three posts today, but I finally got some pictures uploaded and I'm on a roll! You love it.

Sky got her birthday present early from Grandma and Grandpa this past Sunday. And guess what they got her?

A SCOOTER!

I'm not exaggerating when I say Sky has been requesting a scooter for her birthday for at least six months. I didn't even know she remembered the whole gifts-on-birthdays thing until she started telling me she wanted a scooter for her birthday. A tooter scooter, to be exact (a la Wubbzy). This kid could not be happier.

Ted and Gabrielle also gave Sky some safety gear, including--but not limited to--a pink helmet. Ah, the pink helmet. Also known as Sky's second scull, and the true reason for the post.

It appears this pink helmet has become a permanent fixture.

Thanks for the awesome gift, Grandma and Grandpa! Sky is in love. She loves the scooter, but she may have been happy with just the helmet. She wore it all day yesterday. It was on her head for every meal, potty break and coloring sesh.

I just wrote 'sesh.'

2 For Tonight

Sky is turning three tomorrow! At 2:55am, she will be 3 years old. She will be a big girl, eating cake and suckers and playing with purple airplanes (her plan).

Anyone know where to get a purple airplane on very short notice?

So here's one last look at her being two and goofy!

THREE! Maybe she's just turning 3 months? She's a little big for her age...? No? Okay.

HAPPY ALMOST BIRTHDAY, SKY GIRL!!! I seriously love this kid.

That's Nice.

Me: "Sky, take a bite. You haven't eaten anything yet."
Sky: "I don't like this chicken."
Me: "It's not chicken. It's beef."
Sky: "I don't like this chicken-beef."
Me: "Chicken comes from chickens. Beef comes from cows."
Sky: "That's nice."
Me: "What's nice?"
Sky: "That's nice for cows to give us beef."
Me: "It is."

I am going to miss all the great things Sky says as a two-year-old, because tomorrow she turns THREE!

Naptime: Confidential

I eat Oreos during naptime.

I put the kids to bed, and I eat Oreos. Six of them, with milk. I think eight is the perfect number, but the Oreos I currently have in my cupboard come in sealed packages of six so it's six or twelve, people. And I won't lie; some days are twelve Oreo days. Some days are twelve Oreo + a Diet Coke days. I adjust when necessary.

Some of you might suggest I eat one package of six, then open another and--over a period of three days--supplement my 6-packs with two Oreos from the supplementer package, thereby ensuring my ideal Oreo fix. No. You can't just leave a package partially eaten. Show some respect for the Oreos!

I do.

Quarters

I collect quarters.

I'm not kidding. This is a deep, dark secret I've been trying to keep under wraps but it's time it came out in the open. BAM! There it is!

Seven years ago I was a nanny for a set of twins who gave me a little cardboard 50 States Quarters collector book. I started collecting the quarters from the change I got and my collection today is only missing a few. But one day I look at the change in my hand and realize that, without my consent, the US Treasury has begun pounding out these extra US territory quarters and special nickles and there just isn't a slot in my book for them all!

With the whole movie ticket fiasco of '11, I can't afford to hoard more than the original 50 quarters I agreed to when I accepted the book. Sure, they are worth more than old movie stubs (though one could argue the value of memories associated with ticket stubs is higher than any monetary value) but they are also heavier and my moving boxes can't take the added pressure.

The following quarters will complete my set:

• Colorado
• Hawaii
• Minnesota
• South Carolina

Please look in your pockets/wallets/purses/couch cushions and notify me should you find any or all of the above quarters.

I should probably just start collecting bills and forget the whole quarter thing.

I will begin by accepting any $5s you'd like to donate to this cause. Larger bills also accepted.

8 Months Old!

Wow. Did someone steal September? Harper will be 9 months old soon (and SKY will be 3 this Wednesday!!!), but I took these photos when she turned 8 months old. It kills me to post these without fixing them up a little, but my desktop power cable is still MIA from the move and I have no Photoshop on this dang laptop.

Here, look at them. She's so cute!

A little part of me just died posting those. A couple of minutes tweaking colors would have made a big difference. I have more to post, but I can't get myself to show them in their dullness. I'm used to having great lighting in my family room!

Let's see, what new things did Harper learn last month?

Here are her skills. Harper is now the Master Roller! This morning I found her in the middle of the kitchen. I had put her down at least 8 feet away from where she was. Awesome! She is drawn to Sky's toys like a moth to a flame, and don't even try to eat in front of her without sharing. She's a hollow child. If you don't want to share, go hide in a corner while you finish your lunch. Her eyes are still bigger than her tummy, though. Kid gotta learn to flip that 'full' switch!

If Sky is around, Harper is watching her. Just like this:

Now that she can roll and sit, she doesn't like to be laid down. She often gets stuck in the corner of her crib trying to roll around!

She blows raspberries when she's angry. Sometimes she just sticks her tongue out and makes angry sounds, and her pointy little tongue is hilarious! She has great hand/eye coordination and has mastered the two-finger pickup.

She is also pretty fly for a white babe:

Yeah, girl. You pop that collar.