This Just In: Totally Clueless!

I've come to the surprising realization that I have no idea what pregnancy is like. I mean, I know the basics; women tend to be nauseous for a while, then they start to look pregnant, then they start to look very pregnant, then they have a baby, etc. I also know that there is more to it than what I just wrote, but I'm trying to keep this paragraph short so work with me here.

Let me explain. I believe television and movies have put a false pregnancy knowledge base in my head. Let's go back to when I found out I was pregnant. Clearly I suspected myself to be pregnant, so I invested in a 2-pack pregnancy test. (I only used one and don't plan to use the other, so if you want it give me a ring. Save yourself $8-$14.) I did as the box instructed and received the double-line confirmation that yes, I was indeed pregnant.

Next, I called the doctor's office thinking I had to go in for a pregnancy test (like a blood test or something) because hey, that's what they do on TV. That's how Diane Keaton found out she was pregnant on Father of the Bride Part 2 ("The father of the bride is having a boobie?!" Oh, I love Martin Short). The receptionist was quite rude and told me she didn't understand why I needed to come in for a test if I'd taken a home test. I fought back tears (yet another confirmation that I was pregnant...I'm not one to break into tears on phone calls) and ended the call.

Apparently no woman ever goes into the doctor's office to take any sort of pregnancy test unless she has fertility issues or happens to be on a TV show. Or if her husband happens to be a doctor and by going into the office she will get a free test and can save herself $8-$12.

My next bit of confusion floats around ultrasounds. I was under the impression that you have an ultrasound at each monthly appointment. Well, you don't. Good thing I asked my sister first or I might have been very upset when the doctor neglected to show me my kid yesterday!

Well...that's about it with my confusion so far. I take most things with an open mind and the pregnancy has been smooth as butter.

On a happier note, I was excited to be able to hear the baby's heartbeat for the first time yesterday, as was Mike. Mike is also happy that I'm starting to show a bit. I'm starting to wonder if he prefers a tubbier version of me...