PI-WO!!!

Yesterday I was sitting on the floor in the family room trying to figure out how to remove gel nails. (A friend of mine is getting her nail license and needed to practice applying gels, so she practiced on my toenails. They looked fab, but it's been 6 weeks and they need to go.)

Sky was watching TV and coloring. All of a sudden:

Sky: "Oh no! Oh no!!!"
Me: "What's up, Sky?" (staring at my toes, which may or may not have been wrapped in tin foil to hold acetone-soaked cotton balls on top of each nail...I read it online...)
Sky: "Mommy, that pi-wo is going to get my pi-wo!"
Me: "What?" (because...what? I'm sure you're wondering the same thing)
Sky: "THAT PI-WO IS GOING TO GET MY PI-WO!!!"
Me: "Spider?"
Sky: "Yes! That one!"

I look and Sky is pointing to the kitchen floor, where, for whatever reason, a large plastic spider that I didn't even know we owned was sitting on the tile. And sure enough, heading toward that plastic spider is a very real, very large, very hairy spider. I almost dry-heaved. It really was huge.

Clearly it had to die. I grabbed the paper towel I had under my foot (you know, in case some acetone escaped the tin foil wrappings), jumped up and hopped on one foot until I found one of Mike's shoes. Then I threw the paper towel on top of the spider and...

Sky: "Aww. Poor pi-wo. He was playing on the tile by my pi-wo and Mommy SMASHED HIM WITH DADDY'S SHOE!!!!!!!"
Me: "Um. Yes. He shouldn't have come into the house. Where did that huge spider come from anyway?!"
Sky: "Outside."

I would have taken a picture if the spider didn't look like it could eat my children. So now you can create a picture in your mind.

Oh, if you're wondering, I still haven't been able to get the gels off my toenails. I think I need an hour to sit and soak them in nail polish remover. How will that not make my toes fall off?